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yh.16 till 19thmay'10.ex-jss4409and26thSC.posted to SAJC, appeals successful to JJC, 10S19. is hoping that she dosent regret.
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Friday, May 23, 2008, 9:10 PM
its all in the mind?
this morning photo taking was//
messy
but all in all it still went well. as in ppl were rather cooperative i can say/
went back to class to slack
really slacked
then mrloh came in with report bks.
didn;t expect mine to turn out so great
and finally thanks to all my chocolate eating
acceptable weight.
wow i was like 99th in level
HOW GREAT
and i shd really minus off those ppl who failed el.
they really did well/
unlike me ok.
then suppose to meet mskoh
then mrloh say got smth for the class.
heh celebrate all ppls birthday from jan till june
thanks!
i haven't blown candles for years.
and the cake is nice
sent a piece of cake as an apology to save us from being slaughtered
bleah.
went to lend tablet to do the slc design.
and slept in scrm for like 2-3hrs/
shiok.
meet the parents totally horrible
i alwasy hated it though i din fear it.
and thank mr loh's punctuality, so that i could conduct my breifing with the usherers/
meet for bout 1hr, i thought its suppose to be 15 mins?!
ok usher and than went to makan with fellow ushers.
dad fetched me home=)
and I HATE AMATH
A dditional mathematics
M akes
A cademics
T otally
H orrible
yeah man u shd agree
horrible
and this june is so tight for me
i better go plan my stuff now.
P.S i give up on my amaths. its hopeless-.-
and i really cannot take it ald
what i am doing i am aware.
u will nvr understand how i feel
all the things that i have gone through
this is the best solution i can find for myself
its not that i have terrible time management
but if i don't do this and let my thought wonder
i wouldn't be who i am today
when u all did those things
i didn't understand
and even if i can i wouldn't like too
it will only make things more complicated for everyone.
and less trouble, less stress
wadeva i know i will keep to myself.
what happened in the past and now its totally two different thing
why i want to do certain things
u will never understand
i need peace with everyone
being communicator in the house is very tiring
and i cannot take it anymore
i hate it when one party calls and the other wants to know the contents of the conversation
i hate to repeat myself
furthermore
they call me urgently for things not urgent at all
they want to take me out
when they are free
if i dun acc them
the other party also come in and tok
i want to alleviate myself from all this trouble.
its too much than a 15 year old can handle
and yet, the ppl whom i told all this couldn't seem to help
ppl around me are not sensitive enuf to sense that smth isn;t right
esp those in the house
sey i hav my own frens and my own freedom.
i do not want to stick with u ppl always
i am 15 ald.
i know wad i am doin
i am aware of my thots.
u dun understand me.
AT ALL
dun think that all of u are so great for doing all those things that u have been doing for me
in my heart, u are just another stranger
i dun look up to u
u created a permanent scar in my heart
and now its still bleeding
each they when i go to bed,
my tears roll down my pillow.
i am not asking for perfection
but i just want things to be normal
but now its too late.
and i don't care so much ald
wadeva that u try to do
its too late
when i nid u most
u were not there for me
so dun expect me to be there for u when u nid me
sry, but i can't bring myself to it.
the reason that i stay in the world
is to create my own future
and not let my nxt generation, go through wad i gone through
i hate it.
my life is like a drama serial
just in reality.
sometimes, i can't stop myself frm comparing
why am i the odd one out.
why are others so perfect
ok maybe not perfect just the norm
why mus i be so special
ppl who haven't gone through
u wun understand
forget it./
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